Should I?

I don't even know.
This use to be the easiest thing.
I wouldn't even need to think.
I'd just be there,
Things would be good.
But I don't even know now.
Should I go?
Grab a coffee or a boost.
Sit down,
Talk,
See how things are.

But no.
Things aren't that easy anymoar.
I wish they were.
They can be.
It's just that now...
I'm scared that my presence...
would only bring grief...
sorrow...
and would make me moar repulsive
than I already am.

So?
Do I go, and be a good person I am?
Or should I not go,
and risk leaving an impression that
I don't care?
Do I go, and try and produce a smile?
Or should I not go,
because
I'm not wanted there?

Decisions.
Dilemmas.
Troubles.

I want to.
But I'm really not sure.
My minds unsettled.
Sleeps not going to be forgiving.


Take it easy,
Mr. Jyamaigo