Heavy Thoughts On My Mind.

I woke up early.
Ate breakfast properly for once.
Threw on my gym clothes, book in bag.
Off to uni for a 1 hour lecture, then the gym.
Heavy thoughts on my mind.

I arrive at uni.
I forgot a pen to write with.
Heavy thoughts on my mind.

My socks were the same colour today.
Usually I mix them up.
One black. One White.
Again,
Heavy thoughts on my mind.

The lecture was on temperature regulation.
Physiology. That's about all I heard.
Heavy Thoughts on my mind.

Lecture over, everyone was happy, ready to eat and enjoy the first days of semester together.
I had something I was happier doing, so off to gym I went. Was quite windy, nice in the sun though.
I got to the gym, my usual buddy wasn't working today. Headed in, did my shoulder routine on the weights.
The weights didn't feel like anything, not because I'm superman strong. But because, well...
Heavy thoughts on my mind.

Heavy till I pretty much felt the tear down my right side trapezius where it attaches to my scapula.
Retraction, protraction, elevation, depression, head lateral flexion to both sides causes it to hurt too.
Not cool. Still smiling though, being the idiot I was.
It's been so long since I've seen someone.
Heavy thoughts on my mind.

Came home, after a rush to the car. People were in a rush to get home.
Shower, changed, ironed  clothing, fixed up hair, ironed clothing again because they wrinkled.
Cologne. I haven't touched my cologne for over half a year. I only ever used it on certain occasions.
Waited patiently for me to cool down.
Then I headed out for the city.
Heavy thoughts on my mind.

Even the traffic jams didn't stop me from smiling, I was so excited. But in the back of my mind...
Something appeared. A cloud, a dark cloud. It was grinning at the rest of me.
What are you smiling for, hmm?
Starbucks on George St, closest to the cinemas, 13:00.
Heavy thoughts on my mind.

A blur. A coffee. A decision.
Heavy thoughts on my mind. Why?

Now tonight in my suburb. Gunshots. A resident shot.
Everything's quiet. I'm out.
This was not what I had in mind.
Not what I had in my mind at all.


Mr. Jyamaigo.

Adana.

Talk about taking kebabs to a new level.
The shish roll I had today, was off the hook.
I never even knew this sort of roll existed.
But alas, I experienced it, and it was awesome.

Impulse bought a basketball, just because we wanted to play.
Played ball for a good while, met some people.
First day lecture was completely a waste of time.
Talking through the course outline took less than 30 minutes.
So instead of having the feeling of going home,
everyone was against going home after making their way out just for 30 minutes.

Gym was omitted today, I've found some problems.
So I'm going to monitor these problems and hopefully,
be rid of them as soon as I can.

Tomorrow's a big day. Uni for an hour
(hopefully it'll be the full hour or close to it this time)
and then gym, to which I'm going twice as hard,
due to my absence for the past few days.
Then it's out to the city. For a surprise I guess~

So, regardless of survival of the day following today,
I'll be alright. To be honest it's the chills of the night,
that lead me into thinking that it's all overly complicated.
Given this idea. Most people find normal thoughts, rather simple.
And abnormal thoughts, to be rather silly and overly complex,
And completely ridiculous thoughts, to be genius.
And totally acceptable.

So to that I can comfortably say,
That Max Brenner, has the sweetest mocha,
That I have ever tasted.
Try it though, I know you'll all like it.


Take it easy,
Mr. Jyamaigo

A

Don't worry, I ain't crazy, those things in the titles, those single letters, all actually stand for something. Now, where to start. Went for a huge feed at El Jannahs just yesterday with my mayne TSD. Now we had a challenge going on. Well, we hadn't attempted it yet. It was a full family chips and a whole chicken. Each. First to finish. So we were craving El Jannahs and decided it would be smart to warm up. So we ordered a Family Chips and a whole chicken. And of course. The large garlic SAUCE.

Result? Ah people. Don't try that without knowing what it's like. That's weird though, you have to try it to know right? hahahaha but anyway. The chicken was a breeze, and so was about a little past half way of the chips. Needless to say, the feast didn't end quite well, because... it didn't end. There were chips left.
Fear not though, I won't be needing carbs for the next month or so. Or fat for that matter.

THEN IT WAS TIME FOR CALL OF DUTY. THE GAME WHERE YOU CAN'T AIM DOWN. and where I can actually pull of some knife kills =P SO MUCH WIN. Don't worry, I'm just not talking much about how bad I am with that game. I'm no console gamer.

Alrite, let's time jump forward. Today. Morning breakfast, plenty of pastry from some bakery we had no idea of. A whole bunch. Lucky we had bacon though. and maple syrup. And being epic meal time fans. Guess what we had for breakfast? Maple Syrup Bacon Strips. That's right. We couldn't make candy bacon strips yet because we had no idea we wanted to eat bacon for breakfast. But surprisingly... it was SO GOOD. NO wonder they could eat that stuff like animals. Even bacon with just maple syrup was AWESOME. and the most surprising was the fact that the parents seemed to enjoy the idea HAHAHA.

Then we ended up at a car dealership. Negotiating a price for the relos on a car they wanted. I mean... whut? I wanted to sleep. ANYWAY. After an hour or so of haggling, I just simply lost interest and walked off and kind of got lost in my thoughts. So the result of the car deal? No idea LOL.

Next destination: The Rocks. Walk around for most of the time with family. Made me realise how long it's been since I've been out with family just to do nothing. It made me realise that the most important thing to be able to do with people, is to be able to hang out and do absolutely nothing, and not feel like you're wasting your time. If you can do that, then you can be comfortable.

Lowenbrau for lunch. That stuff was quite different. It was nice, but a little wondering was done when I tasted the beer. I can't explain it. But I've never liked beer, so me criticizing it would be quite biased. I'll leave it at that beer is an 'acquired taste'. Obviously one I haven't acquired yet. I'll give the meal a 7/10 for now.

Then home. Long shower, and here I stand. Receiving quite the funny news. I won't disclose what sort of news it is. But may it be known that no, nothing's quite happy yet.


Take it easy,
Mr. Jyamaigo

F

To a pretty girl I know,
It's been quite a while since we've met or talked. But that hasn't stopped me from thinking of what other ways I could think of to make you smile. It's like a guessing game. Running after something I can't really be sure of, yet I'm filled with this overwhelming sense that I should be sure, and that I'm doing the right thing. Kind of like a movie hahaha, maybe not for everyone else. But that's how it seems to be, to me. I've looked at the many different responses I get and - like all people try to do - guess some of the responses I might get.
But no worry, the only failure is giving up. And that isn't an option for me at the moment. Even in a simple exercise program (pardon me for the exercise example, I am a trainer after all). Simply said, it's like hell, and the things you least want to do when you are enduring the effects and performing the exercises at a close to maximum (or maximum in some cases) intensity. And you basically collapse at the end, vomit if you do or just not know how the hell you managed to push through. But at the end of it all, you're happy. You know you've accomplished something. And that something, be it small or tremendous, is yours to keep and no one else can take that away. It's a little triumph, your little trophy.

She wanted to talk to me, she said. After a very confusing conversation. That single idea put a smile straight on my face. But as with all good things, there's the balance I speak of. She'll be unavailable later tonight~ at least as far as cyberspace is concerned. Comforted though. We have both have phones and there is such a simple yet wonderous text message.

So I'll be waiting.


Take it easy, like I always say.
Mr. Jyamaigo

What can you do?

It's a lonely night. But what can you do? It's raining outside, You're all warm inside, Wrapped in your cocoon. But the coldness inside, Makes you think. Maybe it would be the same, Possibly even better, If it were to be raining inside And be totally warm outside. At least it would reflect how it felt. Or how things are. At this point in time. Wishing for a certain feeling. Even just the slightest hint, Of that something I use to have, Would be so nice right now. But it's not to be. One day. Hopefully, one day. It'll be able to be like that again. And smiling wouldn't be so hard anymoar. It's early morning. 2 am ish. And life's still feeling the same. Still feeling shit. Perhaps I'm too much of n attention seeker Perhaps it's too much to ask for, to be noticed. By a person who means everything to me. Take it easy, Mr. Jyamaigo

H

Day 1. No Idea, still no idea.
Day 2. No Idea, then loads of fun, unrealising.
Day 3. Probably not going to have an idea.
I thought increasing communication sources would increase the communication.
It seems all too obvious.
A mistake was interpreted as something else,
and turned completely on me.
Pretend it's accidental, go ahead.
I've nothing to say, and I'm not going to.
I'm not going to be grumpy.
But there is only so much you can do.

When a simple reply is that difficult to yield,
what do you do?

I needed a reply.
I had a proposal to make.
But I guess one was having too much fun to reply.

Well I'm sorry,
But when one is not in the mood to talk,
this is what you do:
You cut your communications to everyone.
At least on the surface. That's the bare minimum.
No facebook, twitter, msn, tumblr, instagram.
Nothing.


Take it easy,
Mr. Jyamaigo

PS. Am I okay?
Why don't you tell me.

M

Hey,
It's been a few days since I've been on here.
I've been busy. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect you to care.
Just in case anything was needed and I wasn't present.
Finally get to hand in my manual, I took way too long on it.
But it's not just stopping there. I've got moar to do.

Before I know it, Uni results are out and then uni starts again.
I wish I had outings lined up.
I need a distraction.
But all I have is actual things to do.
Which isn't bad right? Getting a move on in life.
But still. One wishes.

My throats sore, migraines back every now and then.
I downloaded Whatsapp.
I don't think my messages will get through any faster though.
I had gelato at Messina. Only because it had bacon in it.
It was called Piggy in a Biscuit.
Someone I know would've smiled at how cute that sounded.
It was peanut gelato with banana and bacon cookies.
Was very well made. It was delicious.
But the aftermath was not.
Possibly because I've been eating such clean food recently.

I've finally calmed down a bit. I was on the brink of a terrible rage.
It didn't happen. I have things to get done. I don't want to be thinking myself to death.
So I'm going to go finish up some things.
I'm going to hope someone either does have the mood to talk,
or at least not send the message of a contradiction by being 'online',
so to speak.

Things to do tomolo.
Car to wash too.
Not complaining.
I'm a bit scared to be honest.
Life's a balance though, I tell myself.
I just hope there was enough planning,
in my concept of ... semi-planning.


Take it easy,
Mr. Jyamaigo

One Point.

That was all it took.
Aaaaannnddddd, the Maroons have now won 7 in a row.
GG to Hayne who injured his leg in the last minute of the game.
Had he made that break though.
Different story altogether.
So I guess it was a risk he thought was worth taking.
All you can do is respect a good player's choice.
Bad Luck.

Now on a totally different note,
Had to stamp flyers today, I think I got through about...
1500 maybe? another 1000 tomolo morning! Fun!
Gosh, I'm looking forward to it LOL
Made myself a quick training session today,
was good.
Gonna buy myself a pair of boxing gloves.
Kinda getting into this whole boxing thing.
Fun, and the amount of stress it relieves is pretty epic.
It's LIKE bashing someone. Just that no one gets hurt.
My wrist hurts though. Might've clipped the bag wrong.

ANYWAY.
Tomolo mornin' work.
Gonna go for another session. See if I can shake things up a little.
Money's short, gifts to buy, equipment to fund.
I really need to get a better deal.
I'm gonna be patient though.
Good things come to those who wait.
And for good reason. All the time.

Oh, and yeah,
I prioritized someone very recently.
I thought it would've reaped a happy and warm response.
Turns out, not really.
It's really complicated to explain.
So I guess I'll take another hit.
I'm doing something nice,
I'm not going to die for it right?
hahahahahaha, anyway.

Like I said, expenses to pay, boxing to practise and learn,
flyers to stamp and a nice and intense game of footy tonight.
My world's still empty though. Thoughts scattered.
I'll catch y'all again soon.


Take it easy,
Mr. Jyamaigo

Migraine.

Go away please.
I don't need another thing to deal with right now.


Take it easy,
Mr. Jyamaigo

Out.

D-Wade's gonna be out for the olympics, WHY?!
Turns out, I'm the busy one.
I intern only 2-3 hours, for a maximum of 3-4 days a week.
I work on Friday nights, and Saturday's from morning till early evening.
The other time is spent alone.
I read, yes, not books though.
I listen to music, but I do that most of the time anyway.
I research, so I can be up to date with what I'm doing.
Constantly looking for ways to stimulate my mind is ...
Not really playing out to be the holiday I wanted.

I got a free voucher.
For one.
Free Lunch @ The Star.
That's when I realised how empty I felt.
It wasn't even funny.
My whole day crumbled to pieces.
The following day was the most work-filled
and talkative day at my job since it started.
The workload was ridiculous.
And at the end of the day?
It all came back round to the same thing.
Same thoughts,
moar problems,
no rest,
and a reminder that pushing myself onward,
would be the only way to temporarily block out my thoughts,
and even with that, my distractions don't work 100% of the time.

Life's shit.


Take it easy,
Mr. Jyamaigo

PS. I miss the feeling of a hug.
Something so simple.
And it's something I won't be given.