For those of you that like ass

For those of you that like ass.

Today after moments of being poked by my mother verbally and by verbally I mean nagging, she yelled at me and told me to chill out with my friends. For those that know my mother, she is a pretty relaxed person at times (minus the monthly PMS) but thinks that I am not social enough. So this morning, I told her that I was honestly not bothered to go out and that I’d much rather curl up with a book in the corner of my room and stay there for hours on end. She called me an “idiot” but I was not moved. It was not until it hit 1 pm and I was being a recluse, that I was forced by my mother to get in the car and go. I am very grateful for her patience of dealing with a stubborn and lazy ass such as myself. I’m such a CBB girl.

After being lost by following my own directions, we gave up and went around in circles. I will admit that I am not being good with directions but at least I have the guts to ask around! Fortunately it was located in an area that my mother was familiar with and after repeated u-turns, 3 point turns and u-turns around and around and around the round-about, we got there in the end, though only after a phone call to my friends.

In the end we went to St Peters Indoor rock climbing centre. To get in, you need to be over 18 or have a legal guardian sign off a waiver form. Thankfully my mother was there to sign off three forms for under age babies, if not, they would have to have sit on the side and watch me and my friend, climb the walls pitifully. If you are ever considering going indoor rock climbing, make sure you have a partner! My mother left us and by god, those under age babbie like friends of mine were forever grateful. So you’re wondering, ass. What ass?

When I got in and passed the safety orientation, when you are belaying someone, you have to look up to make sure that your partner is not going to die and that the rope is tight so they don’t plummet to their deaths in your hands. There was nothing bad about that except for the mild rope burn and your neck in pain from craning high into the room. But when you look up all you can see is ass. A bad thing? I think not!

I have to admit it though, there were many attractive men and women who were all toned and showing off their skills at scaling the walls. It is for all ages! Children as young as 6 go with their parents to build self confidence and get fit! There is even an area designated for younger children where the walls have the footing in the shape of butterflies and balloons.

The room smelt of human perspiration and endurance. It was good to have your friends call you “incompetent” because it made you want to climb to the very top! It was overall a very encouraging experience. Even when your best friend calls you an “assface” because your ass is more attractive that your face. It’s such a wonderful experience and you learn to build stronger friendships by telling your friends to “man up” whilst undermining their masculinity (no exceptions for being female here).

I am not particularly fond of heights but getting to the top was exhilarating. It left me craving for more like some crack whore. I must say that it was a really good workout for the body. It uses your arms and calves. I got addicted to the adrenalin rush that I was climbing walls one after the other and my friends just looked at me like I was some freak possessed with this desire to get to the top.

Moving on to more ass, there were numerous young men that were strutting around the centre topless. I am not sure whether they are here to pick up girls that have spent more time with their mouths gaping open and fantasising about those abs and that fine ass than climbing the walls themselves. They were all good looking and they knew it. Every time I was belaying my partner the only thing that I could see was ass. I see an ass over here, another ass over there and another one up here. I love ass and basically who doesn’t? So for those of you that like ass, I say go and give rock climbing a shot!

Dat ass.

All the best!

Lillian xoxox