We shouldn't have left you
Without a dope beat to step to
Chaos. Life is chaos. Structure holds no place, warrants no respect, has no honour in my world. Cursed and blessed, my life's a mess. I sit here and wander through the darkness of my mind, lost in your waking dreams, feeling like anaesthetic. It's a relief to find light in the recesses of a mind so old with a brain so young.
False. Humans are false. We put on fronts, tell each other stories so fabulously exaggerated they have to be true, shout to the world how great we are, scream in the face of all our inadequacies and hide from all our fears. But, we're human. And we wouldn't have it any other way. So where do we go from there?
Mr Sleepless figured that one out. And he's all the more happy for it. Finally there is light in darkness, so much so that it's more light than dark. I done paid my electricity bill it seems. Everyone reaches the point that's so low, the Mariana Trench looks like its the highest point on Earth. Everyone has demons. Everyone finds their way home. Some have hope, some have friends, family and support, some have faith, some have their own struggle, some fall even further before coming back stronger than ever. I had all of the above.
Hopeful, I mean, please, that's always me. I ain't never gave up on me. Cos who's realer than me? Who's better than me? Who's greater than me? No one! =P And I have friends. I have family. I have support. Shit, my friends are family. Mr. Jyamaigo my brother! Joey Rambo my brother! My Queenslander girl my sister! (Yo hun, we gone win SOO this year, I feel dat). Found a new home, some old friends I never realised I had came to the fore, some fake friends walked out the door. Ain't no false fronts in a cold snap.
I had my struggle. And now I have Faith too. I mean, I always had it but now I have a lot more. I have my own evidence, my own stories, my own triumphs and now here I am standing on top of my world. I made playthings out of my demons with the help of Him. Cos He can do anything I allow him to. Woo! I climbed the Mariana Trench backwards. Upside Down. With my hands tied behind my back.
So now here I stand. A student. A new found teacher. And I learn so much from those I teach, those little rascals. They call me Monkey. I suppose that's not an altogether untrue comparison. Mischievous me and my monkey ways. I'm always learning, always an empty bucket waiting to be filled. Give me my nourishment.
I feel like I could be back here. I mean why not? YOLO, right?
They tell me I should set goals, work towards them, have a plan for life. I do. My plan is to chill, to let it roll, to be guided along the path by whatever means, however means, whomever means. But realistically, here we go:
Learn more, teach more, be more
Be at uni for at least another 2-4 more years if we're gonna head down that road. It's funny, the insane end up being psychologists/psychiatrists
Work with kids. Do it. I can't imagine anything else now
Don't take things for granted anymore, you've spent enough time with those who don't have 1% of what you do to know that you're blessed. And that means you too. Yeah, I'm looking at you, honey!
And, possibly most important of all, reach SR 130 in Halo 4 before Halo 5 is released (cos you've already Master Prestiged in Blops)
You might have to look through a microscope, but look hard enough and you will find angels
Sleepless no longer walks alone,
TSD
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